I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The power of my boobs compel you
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
