I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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