Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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