I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
