At least make sure they are 18
Why
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
