Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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