I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
