Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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