i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
