So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
