Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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