How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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