I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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