Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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