Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize