We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
