I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
