my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
