Have you finally orgasmed yet?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
