barbara walters just said penis...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
