yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
