I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
