It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
