who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He kissed a someone with a penis
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
