And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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