I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
