I showed him my bush... on skype.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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