Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
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Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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