Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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