i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
