Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
