Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
