He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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