You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize