I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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