It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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