dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
