we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
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I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
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