So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
