similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
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the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
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I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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