It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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