I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
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