Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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