i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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