What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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