What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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