And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
