I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
