he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
