Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize