I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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