omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
