He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
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when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
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my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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