Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
