Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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