Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
smell my finger.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
