Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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