At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
