I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
