New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
