ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
