everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
