Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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