how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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