john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
