people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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