I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
