WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
